Sin Like You Mean It
by levienne
Summary: I'm a sinner. He wasn't meant to be mine, and I thought otherwise. My family is torn apart, and I'm not the only one left with a broken heart. It felt right in its wrongness and wrong in its rightness. I had sinned, and I meant it. AU/AH, OOC, rated M.


**A/N: ****The story is rated M for a reason, believe me. Betaed by xlilyunyun. Thank you so much!**

He sat down on the couch, staring at me with his sparkling green eyes, full of longing. I could look into those eyes all day, for they were so beautiful. They were the greenest eyes I'd ever seen, and they were gorgeous in their simplicity. I could see the corner of his mouth pulling up into a crooked smile, and I smiled back at him, taking one step forward as he opened his arms for me, waiting for me to sit beside him.

As I did so, he put his arms around me and pulled me to him, pressing his chest to my back and placing his hands flat on my stomach. I let my head fall back and rest against his shoulder, closing my eyes and breathing in his lovely scent. I kept quiet, giving him some time to think and getting lost in my own thoughts as well. It was our time to sit with each other and just be. I loved it - it felt so intimate and just… _normal_.

After what seemed like hours, he shifted a little and pulled me even closer to him, moving my hair away and bringing his lips to the soft skin of my neck. He was placing wet kisses along the side of my neck as he moved his hands to my thighs to rub them gently.

"Mmm," I hummed as I tilted my head to give him better access to my neck.

He pressed his lips to my neck more firmly and then he licked the sensitive spot behind my ear, bringing a small sigh out of me. It felt so, so good that I wanted to make this go on forever, but I shivered. Something within me told me that this wasn't appropriate, making me think about it for the hundredth time. _I knew it was true. _Come on, who does that kind of thing? Me, that's who.

"Hey, hey," he said, trying to get my attention. I wasn't aware of the fact that I was staring into space. "What's the matter, baby?" he asked as he looked at me in concern.

After he looked me in the eye, the understanding crossed his face. I was sure he _knew_, because his face fell. He turned me around so that I was facing him. He cupped my cheeks in his warm hands and grazed his thumbs across my cheeks, looking at me intently. He inched his lips to mine and kissed me softly. But I didn't want softly. I wanted angry and passionately, so I kissed him back. _Hard. _

I moved my hands around his neck and to his reddish-brown hair, tingling them in my fingers and pulling him closer to me, because I knew it turned him on. I crushed his lips in a firm kiss, sucking on his bottom lip as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his lap. I licked his upper lip and slipped my tongue in, making him moan as I moved to straddle his legs.

His hands started moving up and down my back as I wrapped my legs around his waist, wanting to bring myself even closer to him. He kissed my mouth once again, before placing open mouth kisses down my neck and to my collarbone, sucking on it firmly enough to leave a mark. And I didn't mind. He could mark me whenever he wanted and I would be happy with it.

His hands slid down my back to cup my backside, squeezing it a couple of times, before his right one moved around to my front to cup my breast.

"Oh God, please, " I panted heavily, throwing my head back and closing my eyes. It felt so absolutely amazing that I never wanted to leave his side or his bed. Or his couch, for that matter.

It seemed like his hands were made for my curves. It seemed like they were made to touch my body and I may or may not have started to think that _he _was meant to be for me. Looking back, that may have been the moment I started to believe in God. (Because, seriously, go and find me a better man! _Maybe a one who doesn't have a girlfriend already._) A little.

He stopped and left me panting as he let his head fall down to rest in the crook of my neck, placing soft kisses there. I could feel his hard-on and it turned me on a little bit more, but I didn't want to rush things so I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my cheek against the top of his head.

He placed his hands on my hips, rubbing them gently. It was time for us to calm down and take some deep breaths. It was just like the time when we were thinking about everything and nothing. It felt intimate and so, so nice. I had never felt something like that before.

"You are so beautiful, baby," he whispered as if someone would hear him. I sighed. "Let me take you to bed, you must be tired," he said after a while, picking me up and walking over to the bed.

He sat me down on the edge of the bed and kneeled down in front of me. He looked so cute with those messy hair of his. He smiled as he moved his hands to the button of my jeans, undoing them and lowering the zipper.

Then it happened.

The door opened and a beautiful woman with long brown hair came in. She took her sunglasses off, dropped her purse to the floor and then… _looked at us_. She came undone, looking as if the devil himself was standing in the middle of the room. Then the tears came streaming down her face and her right hand covered her mouth.

I looked up to her and gasped in utter shock. I felt like it was the scariest nightmare so I pinched myself only to prove myself wrong. It obviously was not a nightmare.

The goose bumps covered my bare arms and I felt sick. I had to get out of there, because I would throw up if I stayed there.

I _knew _it was wrong so why did I let this go on? I _knew _it was a sin so why didn't I end this earlier before anyone could get hurt? I _knew _it would broke our family apart, but I did nothing to prevent this. I _knew _it shouldn't have happened in the first place.

_Fuck. _It was so fucked up. He was so fucked up. And I was so, so, _so_ fucked up!

She still stood there, making no move and crying silently, her eyes closed. She was shaking her head, whispering something under her breath.

I looked at the man and I saw what he was going to do. Then and there, I was sure that he was going to left me and go back to her, begging for forgiveness. And I knew she would forgive him, because she loved him. But she wouldn't forgive me and it would hurt the most.

So I did what was the best.

I looked at him for the last time, knowing I wouldn't see him soon – if at all – and stood up, grabbing my purse and my sweatshirt on my way out.

When I walked past her, I took a glance at her and saw distaste in her watery eyes. I knew there was nothing I could do to make her forgive and forget. So I lowered my head, trying not to think of her broken face. It surely would not help me if I were to think of her all the time.

I didn't look back, when I left. I just let one tear slide down my cheek, before wiping it away with the back of my hand.

I walked to my car and opened the door, climbing in. For the last time, I looked at his – _their _– house and then started the ignition.

Well, it wasn't how we wanted to tell her about our secret relationship. Wait, we didn't want to tell her about it in the first place. At all.

_Shit. _


End file.
